About
The Blog
This Blog is my voice – my real voice.
It was born after a life threatening attack i went through last year. it wasn't the first time i've been attacked but it was the first (and last) time i've been pregnant, I wanted to get an abortion – he didn't. He beat me like a mad man, I shivered all night 'till i found the courage to run away and ask for help. I had the abortion. and at 34 i found myself back on the sofa in my parents living room, owning nothing but my clothes and my guitar. after a while my parents bought me a laptop and Nintendo Wii – i was so petrified, I feared walking outdoors – it was the only way i could communicate with the world, writing and training so I'll get my strength back.
whisper
my real name is Ruthie Lanu-el marek.
I'm an artist. I learned plastic art but I'm actually a musician. some people say I'm a multimedia artist…
I was born in 1974 in Israel, been living here all my life. My dream is to tour the world with my music.
I have things to say, a story to tell – my story, the story of the survivors of complex trauma –
I had to choose whether I'm going to keep silent and suicide or speak up – stop letting guilt and shame dominate my existence.
Now at 35 I understand my condition better. Some of you might read about DID or Complex PTSD and understand, if not – i recommend Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman.
you can write me from here
Or leave a massage.
Peace.
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